https://youtu.be/67JHnJ57YUs

📝 Summary

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In this message, Pastor Paul Durbin challenges us to speak with “Christ-like candor”—where our words carry both truth and love. Pulling from Ephesians 4:15, we’re reminded that real growth happens when we communicate with kind clarity. In a world where people swing between coddling, cruelty, and caustic comments, Jesus invites us to be different. This teaching gives us a blueprint for having hard conversations well—including how to speak up when it would be easier to stay silent, and how to speak kindly when it would be easier to just “drop the truth.” It’s part of our Relationship Repair series, and it’s all about becoming people who bless others with our words.

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📌 Tips

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• For the greatest impact, invite a few others to go through this study guide with you.
• You don’t need to do every section and question—use what fits your group or season.
• Let the Spirit highlight where to slow down and engage. </aside>

🧊 Icebreaker

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• Have you ever been painfully honest…and instantly regretted it?
• On a scale of 1 to "I'm writing a 3-paragraph text," how hard is it for you to bring up tension with someone you love? </aside>

📖 Bible Passage(s)

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Ephesians 4:14–15 (NLT)

Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.

James 5:20 (NIV)

Remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

Proverbs 29:11 (NIV)

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

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🔎 Observation

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1. What stands out to you in the passage(s)? Is there anything new for you to believe or obey?
2. What does "speaking the truth in love" look like in real life?
3. According to Ephesians 4:15, how is truth-telling connected to spiritual growth?
4. What kinds of influence does Paul warn us to avoid in verse 14? </aside>

👋 Application

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1. Where do you typically lean: more toward kindness or more toward clarity?
   • Most of us favor one side—and miss the biblical balance of both.
2. Think back to a time someone gently told you something hard. How did they resemble Christ in that moment?
   • Truth in love is a Christlike move—and often a risk.
3. Have you ever coddled someone when you should have shared the truth?
   • Kindness without clarity can hurt more in the long run, even if it feels loving in the moment.
4. When are you tempted to be “cruel with truth”? What usually causes that?
   • Sometimes clarity without kindness is just pride, masked as helpfulness.
5. Can you think of a time when you were caustic—meaning both unkind and untrue? What was the impact?
   • Those moments often leave deep wounds—and require humility and repentance.
6. Is there someone in your life you’ve been avoiding having a hard conversation with? What’s holding you back?
   • The Holy Spirit might be nudging you to speak with kind clarity soon.
7. What would it look like this week to become more like Jesus in how you speak truth? Be specific.
   • Consider your tone, timing, motives, and heart posture. </aside>

🏔️ Live “On Belay”

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• Have the conversation. Reach out to the person you’ve been avoiding and kindly speak the truth—in private, with love.
• Invite feedback. Ask a trusted friend, “Is there anything in me I don’t see clearly?” and listen well.
• Model healthy correction. Show your kids (or others you influence) how to lovingly address problems with truth and kindness.
• Pray for wisdom before you speak. Don’t react in the moment—respond with Spirit-led words at the right time.
• Get off the keyboard. If the temptation to be cruel or caustic lives in your thumbs, take feedback or hard truths offline. </aside>

🙏 Prayer

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• Jesus, help me speak the truth in love—not just love without courage or truth without care.
• Lord, forgive me for the times I’ve said things out of anger or fear, not out of love.
• Father, give me boldness to gently say what needs to be said, even if it's uncomfortable.
• Teach me how to listen to correction from others without getting defensive.
• Holy Spirit, shape my words to reflect Christ’s heart this week. </aside>

🎶 Worship

https://youtu.be/UGFCbmvk0vo?si=iHTypX31WflVf_P7