Introduction

What if church hasn’t just lost people—but lost the rhythm of Jesus? In this unique and personal message, Pastor Paul Durbin shares the first chapters of a book he’s begun writing, challenging the flawed rhythm many churches have followed for years: “Believe, Behave, Belong, Be Seated.” Instead, he invites us to rediscover the life-giving rhythm we see in Jesus: “Belong, Believe, Become, Belay.” With stories from his own life—and from Scripture—Paul urges us to wake up to the love of God that started before we even noticed. It’s a love that says, “You belong right where you are”—not after you’ve got it all figured out.

⌘ Space to Belong (Icebreaker)

1. When have you been invited in—before you felt like you “deserved it?” Share a story (funny or meaningful) when someone welcomed or included you quickly.
2. What’s your reaction when someone says, “You belong here"? Does it feel comforting, awkward, suspicious—or maybe all of the above?

⌘ Space to Believe (Scripture Focus)

Matthew 9:16–17 (NIV)

“No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”

Context: Jesus was answering a question about why his disciples didn’t fast like others did. His answer? Something new was happening—and the old forms couldn’t quite hold it.

Reflection Questions

• What stands out to you in this passage? Is there anything new for you to believe or obey?
• How does this image of new wine and new wineskins help us think about shifting the rhythm from “Believe-Behave-Belong-Be Seated” to “Belong-Believe-Become-Belay"?
• Where might God be inviting you to make space for something new?

⌘ Space to Become (Application)

1. When have you experienced belonging before believing? How did it shape your view of God or church? Sometimes being accepted just as we are—before having the “right answers”—opens our hearts to real transformation.
2. Think about Henry and the snowy roof story. What’s “the roof” in your own story—the moment where love showed up unexpectedly? God speaks through actions—long before we recognize it. Sometimes hindsight helps us hear Him saying, “I have loved you.”
3. Are there people in your life right now who need belonging before anything else? What could help you extend that kind of grace? This week’s message invites us to show up, not just speak out.
4. Which part of the new rhythm (Belong, Believe, Become, Belay) do you tend to camp out in? Which feels hardest for you? Understanding our lean can help us grow toward wholeness—and also give grace to ourselves.
5. Imagine waking up like the man in the Good Samaritan story—with someone’s costly love already poured out for you. What would that change in how you live today? Paul called this “waking up to love.” It could be the first step to becoming who you’re meant to be.