https://youtu.be/6KZnJLNpaOI?si=94YxaJbC87U32S7A

📝 Summary

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In this powerful message, Pastor Paul Durbin unpacks one of the most underrated gifts we can give in relationships: mercy. Using a birthday-ticket story that turned into an unexpected encounter with grace, Paul guides Belay’ers through a biblical lens of undeserved kindness. Mercy isn't earned or deserved—and yet it's what God extends toward every single one of us through Jesus. This teaching looks at how we can reflect that same mercy in our closest relationships, even when it's hard. Through Scripture, real-life honesty, and a quadrant model, we learn to avoid manipulation, punishment, and bribery—and instead become people defined by compassion. Mercy changes everything.

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📌 Tips

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• For the greatest impact, invite a few others to go through this study guide with you.
• You don’t need to do every section and question—use what fits your group or season.
• Let the Spirit highlight where to slow down and engage. </aside>

🧊 Icebreaker

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• 🚔 Have you ever been pulled over and honestly hoped your charm (or birthday) might get you out of a ticket? How’d that go?
• 💭 What’s a random act of kindness you recently received that totally surprised you?
• 😅 As a kid, did you ever bribe your siblings or friends to do something for you? (No judgment, full stories encouraged.) </aside>

📖 Bible Passage(s)

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Colossians 2:13-14 (NIV)

“When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.”

Ephesians 2:3-5 (NIV)

“Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”

Luke 23:39–43 (NIV)

Jesus responds to a criminal on the cross:

“Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

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🔎 Observation

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1. What stands out to you in the passage(s)? Is there anything new for you to believe or obey?
2. According to Colossians 2:13-14, what did God do with the charges against us?
3. What motivated God to show us mercy, as seen in Ephesians 2? </aside>

👋 Application

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1. In what ways has God shown you mercy in your life?
   • Mercy is undeserved kindness. Like Paul’s ticket story, God withheld what we had “earned” and gave grace instead.
2. What makes it hard for you to show mercy to others, especially in close relationships?
   • We tend to live on the “deservedness” side—if people don’t earn it, we hold back kindness.
3. Which quadrant do you tend to live in when you relate to people who mess up: reward, punishment, bribe, or mercy?
   • The quadrant chart helps us see where we naturally default. Most live based on what others deserve rather than choosing mercy.
4. Have you ever used kindness as a form of manipulation? What would it look like to offer mercy instead?
   • When our actions are tied to what someone “earns” (e.g., “If you do this, then I’ll do that”), we step into bribery. Mercy is freely given.
5. Are you punishing anyone in your life right now through silence, coldness, or withdrawal?
   • Extended silence, passive aggression, or withheld affection are subtle forms of punishment. Mercy doesn’t wait for someone to “deserve” forgiveness.
6. Is there a time when you were shown mercy by someone else? How did that impact you or change the relationship?
   • Receiving unexpected kindness softens hearts, builds trust, and reflects God’s very nature.
7. What would it look like this week to extend mercy to someone who hasn’t earned it? What might change if you did?
   • It might mean letting go of keeping score, softening a stance, or forgiving without being asked. It's not about who "wins"—it's about grace. </aside>

🏔️ Live “On Belay”

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• 🎈 Write a note or send a text to someone you’ve been holding bitterness toward—release them with an act of kindness.
• 🍲 Drop off a meal or small gift to someone you know doesn't expect it—just because.
• 🧘‍♂️ Show mercy to yourself. Let go of a harsh thought or inner punishment you've been clinging to.
• 🙌 Share your story of receiving mercy (like Paul did) with someone who needs to hear about God’s grace. </aside>

🙏 Prayer

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• Thank you, Jesus, for the mercy you gave me when I least deserved it.
• Lord, help me to extend your undeserved kindness to others today.
• God, I confess the times I’ve punished or manipulated others—I ask for your forgiveness and mercy.
• Holy Spirit, teach me to show mercy just as Jesus did: freely, fully, and without keeping score.
• For anyone carrying shame right now, Lord, let your mercy wash over them and set them free. </aside>

🎶 Worship

https://youtu.be/xoR12btzFR0?si=1nOryL1FAk58ExYm