What is Listening, and how do we do it?

📝 Summary

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In this message, Pastor Paul Durbin continues the series “Relationship Gifts” by exploring the second gift: listening. Drawing from Scripture and the Christmas story, Paul describes listening as showing up with full presence and genuine curiosity in our relationships—with others and with God. Through examples like Mary and Martha, Simeon, Anna, and even King Herod, we see how powerful—or absent—listening can be. Listening isn’t just a skill; it’s a gift that communicates love, connection, and honor. And the same God who listens to us, invites us to tune in to His voice and the people He’s placed in our lives.

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📌 Tips

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For the greatest impact, invite a few others to go through this study guide with you.
You don’t need to do every section and question—use what fits your group or season.
Let the Spirit highlight where to slow down and engage. </aside>

🧊 Icebreaker

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What’s a time you were “listening”…but definitely not? (Like, nodded the whole time but didn’t hear a word!)
If your listening style was a Christmas carol, which one would it be? (Bonus points for belting it out!)
Have you ever missed something important because you got distracted? What happened? </aside>

📖 Bible Passage(s)

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Luke 2:25–38 (Simeon and Anna)

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon... It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah... There was also a prophet, Anna... She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying... She gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.

Luke 10:38–42 (Mary and Martha)

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Psalm 34:4–6

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;he delivered me from all my fears.Those who look to him are radiant...This poor man called, and the Lord heard him...

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🔎 Observation

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What stands out to you in the passage(s)? Is there anything new for you to believe or obey?
What do Simeon and Anna teach us about attuning ourselves to God?
How did Mary and Martha respond differently to Jesus’ presence?
What do you notice about God's character through Psalm 34? </aside>

👋 Application

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When you think about your relationship with God, where are you on the listening matrix—disengaged, distracted, dismissive, or truly listening?
Who in your life is probably wondering, “Will you really listen to me?”
- Jesus listened to individuals with full attention.
- We can reflect His love through the same posture.
What causes you to disengage or get distracted in your relationships?
- Sometimes it’s comfort, overload, or even fear of not knowing what to say or do.
How does curiosity help deepen our relationships?
What assumptions might you be making that keep you from listening?
- Like Peter, assumptions block us from hearing what’s really being said—by people and by God.
What would it look like for you to “choose the better thing” this week, like Mary did?
How has God shown that He is present and listening to you in your life? </aside>

🏔️ Live “On Belay”

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Ask one follow-up question in every conversation this week, just to show you care.
Turn off your phone for 10 minutes during a meaningful conversation. Just focus on the person in front of you.
Write a quick note or text to someone you’ve brushed off or tuned out recently. Let them know you're listening.
Schedule 10 uninterrupted minutes each day to simply sit and “listen” to God—no agenda, just presence.
Practice reflective listening: Repeat back what someone said before responding. </aside>

🙏 Prayer

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Jesus, help me to be fully present with the people You’ve placed in my life.
Father, forgive me for the ways I’ve been distracted or dismissive.
Thank You that You are always listening, always near.
Spirit, tune my heart to hear Your voice this week.
Help me love well by listening well—at home, at work, and in every moment. </aside>

🎶 Worship

https://youtu.be/Z5kKQGbI0PU?si=b_d8_2pnJ3rOsr-d