https://youtu.be/L_eKFLKPa48

📝 Summary

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Pastor Paul Durbin kicks off a new teaching series called “Relationship Gifts.” Each message will focus on a practical, biblical skill that can become a powerful gift we give others. This week, we start with honor. Pastor Paul unpacks what honor means through Scripture, a beloved Christmas song (“Little Drummer Boy”), and a powerful framework exploring how we value and act toward others. He challenges us to recognize God's assigned value in every person—and to align our actions with that value. True honor is costly, but it reflects the heart of Jesus, who honored us with His very life.

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📌 Tips

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• For the greatest impact, invite a few others to go through this study guide with you.
• You don’t need to do every section and question—use what fits your group or season.
• Let the Spirit highlight where to slow down and engage. </aside>

🧊 Icebreaker

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🫣 Be honest: would it have annoyed you or inspired you if the drummer boy started playing a solo next to a newborn baby? 🥁

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📖 Bible Passage(s)

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Matthew 2:11 (NIV)

“On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.”

Romans 12:10 (ESV)

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

Luke 7:44-46 (NIV)

“Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, ‘Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.’”

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🔎 Observation

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1. What stands out to you in the passage(s)? Is there anything new for you to believe or obey?
2. According to Matthew 2, how did the Wise Men express honor to Jesus?
3. In Romans 12:10, what kind of culture is Paul calling the church to create?
4. What specific actions in Luke 7 showed the difference between Simon’s and the woman’s view of Jesus? </aside>

👋 Application

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1. How do you personally define "honor"? Does your definition reflect both value and action?
   • Honor isn’t just a feeling—it’s valuing people the way God does, and matching that with real action.
   • Many of us lean toward either just feeling sentiment or just acting without heart. True honor is both.
2. Who in your life feels hard to honor right now—and why?
   • Honor doesn’t mean ignoring pain or conflict, but even difficult people are created in the image of God.
   • The value God gives someone is assigned before they do anything right (or wrong).
3. Looking at your relationship with God—are you honoring Him the way you wish to?
   • We can honor God not just with worship, but with our obedience, time, hearts, and the gifts we bring.
   • “What do you have that the King deserves but you’re holding back?”
4. Where do you see yourself on the honor matrix (Value & Action)?
   • Disregard (low value, low action)? Sentiment (high value, low action)? Posturing (low value, high action)? True Honor (high value, high action)?
   • This diagnostic helps identify where we might be missing the mark—and where to grow.
5. Have you ever experienced someone's genuine honor? What impact did it have on you?
   • Past experiences of being valued can help us reflect God’s heart to others.
   • Or maybe you've seen what happens when someone only postures—how does that shape your trust?
6. How might sentiment (feeling, but not acting) be showing up in your relationships?
   • It can feel like love, but without action, it may lack real impact.
   • Honor isn’t just a Hallmark card—it shows up in costly, tangible ways.
7. What is one relationship where you want to upgrade from sentiment to real honor this week—and what will that cost you?
   • Action ideas: a call, an apology, a gift, a meal, a note, a sacrifice of time or pride.
   • Real honor looks like bringing your “best,” not just your leftovers. </aside>

🏔️ Live “On Belay”

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Honor isn't just something we give to God; it’s also a gift we give to others. Here are some ideas for living "on belay" this week:

• Send a handwritten note or message of honor to someone who's impacted your life—even if you've never told them.
• Look for someone who is often overlooked in your life (a neighbor, a co-worker, a stranger)—and show intentional honor through words or service.
• Rethink how you honor God: Is there a daily habit or sacrifice you need to make that reflects His worth in your life?
• Practice Romans 12:10—try to "outdo" someone this week in honoring them (a fun challenge for friends, couples, or families!)
• Replace gossip or criticism with one word of honor this week. Speak value—even when it’s hard. </aside>

🙏 Prayer

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• Father, help me see people the way You see them—full of eternal value and worth honoring.
• Jesus, thank You for honoring us first by giving Your life. Teach me how to do the same.
• Holy Spirit, give me courage to express real honor—even when it costs.
• Forgive me for the times I’ve disregarded people or postured instead of truly honoring.
• Guide me this week to take action that reflects the value You’ve placed in others. </aside>

🎶 Worship

https://youtu.be/NzEX3QMuVPM?si=qKPWSyj6go5R30lN