https://youtu.be/FomNCOwMaU0

📝 Summary

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In this message, Pastor Paul Durbin continues our “Relationship Gifts” series by exploring the essential skill of trust. Using the example of Mary and Joseph being entrusted with Jesus, Paul challenges us to ask a big question: Am I the kind of person others can really rely on? Through a powerful biblical matrix of reliability and confidentiality, we contrast true trust with counterfeits like enablement, gossip, and deception. We see how trust is not just about keeping secrets—it’s about being genuinely good and dependable in people’s lives, like Jesus is for us. This message helps us grow into trustworthy people who embody grace, truth, and steady love in all our relationships.

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📌 Tips

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• For the greatest impact, invite a few others to go through this study guide with you.
• You don’t need to do every section and question—use what fits your group or season.
• Let the Spirit highlight where to slow down and engage. </aside>

🧊 Icebreaker

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• Which would you rather be: super reliable like a favorite hiking boot, or super confidential like a locked diary? Why? </aside>

📖 Bible Passage(s)

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Matthew 1:18–25 (Mary and Joseph)

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.

Proverbs 20:19

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.

Luke 16:10

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

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🔎 Observation

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1. What stands out to you in the passage(s)? Is there anything new for you to believe or obey?
2. Why is Joseph’s decision to quietly protect Mary so significant in the Matthew passage?
3. What does Proverbs say the outcome of gossip is?
4. According to Luke 16, what does Jesus say about the connection between small and large acts of trustworthiness? </aside>

👋 Application

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1. Would the people close to you describe you as someone who’s trustworthy? Why or why not?
   • Think both about your ability to be reliable and your discretion in handling other people’s stories.
   • Pastor Paul asked us to make this personal: not “who can I trust?” but “can I be trusted?”
2. Where do you see yourself on the trust “matrix” (confidentiality vs. reliability)? Which direction do you need to grow the most?
   • The teaching illustrated four quadrants: Trust (high confidentiality + high reliability), Enablement (high confidentiality, low reliability), Gossip (low confidentiality, high reliability), and Deceive (low both).
   • This honest reflection leads us toward Christ-like love.
3. Have you ever been an enabler in someone else’s life? What did that look like?
   • Enablement keeps confidences but gives bad advice or avoids truth for fear of confrontation.
   • Loving someone sometimes means having hard conversations.
4. In what ways have you been tempted to gossip or share others’ stories—especially in a way that feels subtle or “spiritual”?
   • Gossip can feel like connection, but it damages trust and relationships.
   • Even “Gossip Light” is still gossip.
5. What does it look like to speak the truth without being harsh, and to keep confidence without withholding help?
   • Serving others well means knowing when and how to speak up.
   • True trust steps in when someone is headed toward harm.
6. Who is someone that you know you can trust? What about them creates that confidence?
   • Think about what makes a person safe: consistency, kindness, truthful love.
7. How does Jesus model trustworthy love better than anyone?
   • Jesus never gossiped, enabled, or deceived—and yet He was full of grace and truth.
   • His care for the woman caught in sin (John 8) models confidentiality and reliability perfectly. </aside>

🏔️ Live “On Belay”

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• Ask someone in your life: “Do you feel like you can count on me? Why or why not?”
• If someone you know is hurting but won’t get help, pray and consider discreetly helping them take a next step.
• Read John 8 this week and reflect on how Jesus handled someone caught in shame—with truth and gentleness.
• If you’ve broken trust with someone, reach out and start owning it. Trust can be rebuilt. </aside>

🙏 Prayer

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• Lord, help me grow into someone others can trust with their hurts, struggles, and stories.
• Jesus, thank You for being the safest place I can run to—the wisest, most trustworthy friend.
• God, show me where I’ve enabled instead of helped, and give me courage to change.
• Teach me to guard other people’s stories with love and truth.
• Help Belay’ers to live as trustworthy anchors of grace in a shifting world. </aside>

🎶 Worship

https://youtu.be/695ju1TSIYw?si=tXO-qy93QZmIbwgM