📝 Summary
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This week at Belay, Pastor Paul Durbin continues our “Relationship Repair” series by unpacking the power of repentance. Building on last week’s message on forgiveness, Paul tackles what it means to take ownership when we’re the ones who messed up. Using stories like Zacchaeus, the Corinthians, King Saul, and the Prodigal Son, we’re reminded that true repentance isn’t just about feeling bad—it’s heartfelt sorrow that leads to real change. Whether we’ve been sitting in shame, living defensively, or just quietly complying to avoid conflict, God invites us to come clean and come close—to Him and to each other. Real healing starts with real repentance.
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📌 Tips
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- For the greatest impact, invite a few others to go through this study guide with you.
- You don’t need to do every section and question—use what fits your group or season.
- Let the Spirit highlight where to slow down and engage.
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🧊 Icebreaker
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- What’s the hardest phrase for you to say: "I’m sorry," "I was wrong," or "Worcestershire sauce"?
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📖 Bible Passage(s)
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Luke 19:1–10 (The Story of Zacchaeus)
Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.
When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.”
So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.
All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”
But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”
Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”
2 Corinthians 7:9–11
Yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
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🔎 Observation
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- What stands out to you in the passage(s)? Is there anything new for you to believe or obey?
- What is Zacchaeus’ emotional and practical response to Jesus’ presence?
- What does this story show us about what real repentance looks like?
- How does Paul describe the difference between godly sorrow and worldly sorrow?
- What changes happened in the lives of the Corinthians as they repented?
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👋 Application
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- When was the last time you personally said, “I’m sorry — I was wrong”?
- This message reminds us how rare (and powerful) sincere apologies can be
- Repentance starts with honest ownership and humility
- Which quadrant from the “Repentance Matrix” do you most often operate from: Repentance, Shame, Defensiveness, or Compliance?
- Repentance = sorrow + change
- The other three look similar on the outside but lead to relational brokenness
- Have you ever tried to make changes without actually processing sorrow? Or felt bad but didn’t change?
- God wants both—heartfelt sorrow that leads to real change
- Zacchaeus changed radically after his encounter with Jesus
- Is there someone in your life right now you need to repent to?
- Ask God to bring that person to mind
- It can be someone you deeply care about, and something you’ve tried ignoring
- Have you been stuck in shame instead of moving toward healing?
- Psalm 32 shows how shame drains our strength, but confession brings freedom
- God invites us out of shame into grace and restoration
- How does our pride show up when we feel defensive, like King Saul did?
- Defensiveness often includes blame, justification, or minimizing the offense
- Repentance means surrendering control and trusting God with the outcome
- What might it look like to repent of a heart attitude—not just an action?
- The older brother in Luke 15 did the “right” things but held deep resentment
- Sometimes we need to apologize for what’s been brewing silently inside us
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🏔️ Live “On Belay”
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- Make a list of any relationships where you sense unresolved tension or distance—and prayerfully ask, “Is there anything I need to own here?”
- Write (or rehearse) a sincere apology to someone you’ve hurt. Keep it simple: “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
- If someone opens up and repents to you, honor their courage—choose to listen, respond graciously, and take time if needed.
- Read Psalm 32 aloud this week as a reminder that confession leads to healing and relief with God.
- If repentance is hard for you, memorize 2 Corinthians 7:10 as a reminder of what real healing looks like.
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🙏 Prayer
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- Lord, give me a soft heart so I can respond quickly to the people I’ve hurt.
- Help me trade shame and defensiveness for honest repentance and change.
- Thank you that your kindness leads us to repentance and that you welcome us home.
- Give me courage to go first in relationships—to apologize, to admit where I was wrong, and to ask for forgiveness.
- Help Belay to be a place where people are quick to forgive and quick to repent—where humility and healing go hand in hand.
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🎶 Worship
https://youtu.be/HcpeLDp0Foo?si=GqU7vq8RosewDq_r